


was such a bad idea / i'm totally fucked

by Coeurire



Series: FSF Tarot Prompt Table Challenge [7]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Character Study, Community: femslashficlets, F/F, Ficlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:42:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26205880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coeurire/pseuds/Coeurire
Summary: Meredith saw the woman and her breath caught.She was given to, upon drinking enough glasses of wine, saying things to or about certain women. “I’m not gay, but...” she’d joke. Sometimes she’d joke that way over and over, in her head, about the same women. Sometimes fantasize about them. Sometimes cry over them. Sometimes cry about what all this meant about her.And Addison Shepherd was one of those women....And now she was standing in front of Meredith, perfectly (shortly!) manicured hands on gorgeous hips, saying, “...my husband.”Or, Meredith and Addison grab drinks together after that first confrontation at the end of Season 1.
Relationships: Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery
Series: FSF Tarot Prompt Table Challenge [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1795486
Comments: 8
Kudos: 50
Collections: femslashficlets: tarot prompt challenge





	was such a bad idea / i'm totally fucked

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the femslashficlets tarot prompt challenge. 
> 
> Prompt: The Devil - The pain and delight of giving in to temptation.
> 
> https://femslashficlets.dreamwidth.org/

Meredith saw the woman and her breath caught. 

She was given to, upon drinking enough glasses of wine, saying things to or about certain women. “I’m not gay, _but..._ ” she’d joke. Sometimes she’d joke that way over and over, in her head, about the same women. Sometimes fantasize about them. Sometimes cry over them. Sometimes cry about what all this meant about her.   
And this...this was one of those women. She’d met her once at a medical conference her mother had dragged her to in college. Ever since Meredith had smelled her soft, rosy perfume and heard the dark confidence in her voice, she’d flickered occasionally through Meredith’s daydreams and nigthttime mindscapes. She was that beautiful, that memorable.   
And now she was standing in front of Meredith, perfectly (shortly!) manicured hands on gorgeous hips, saying, “...my husband.” 

Meredith’s blood ran hot and cold. She wanted to slap Derek, she wanted to kiss Derek, she wanted Addison Shepherd to disappear forever, she wanted to be pressed against the wall by her. 

She shook her head, hands held high, and walked away. “You two work this out,” she said, her tone in some undiscovered land between a spit and a sob.  _ “I  _ need a drink.” 

On any other night, pre-Derek, she’d be scanning the bar for cute guys. Now she was just asking Joe for a second round. He brought it out to her, accompanied by a glance that said “I’m here if you need to talk,” and she sipped. Bitter. 

“Is this seat taken?” asked a too-familiar voice.

What was Addison doing here?

Meredith cocked her head at the redhead, and managed a wry smile. “Only if you don’t plan on throwing your drink on me for being the woman who’s been screwing your husband.” 

Addison let out a long sigh, sliding onto the stool. Meredith tried not to pay attention to the way her thighs moved when she sat at the bar. 

“Listen,” she said. “I didn’t realize that Derek told you absolutely nothing about our… situation.” She let out a bitter laugh. “And if he had, he’d have told you that I brought it on myself.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Addison stared at the bottles behind the bar. “I was...involved with his best friend,” she admitted. 

Meredith winced. “Well, at least I know I wasn’t the only reason he wasn’t happy to see you.” 

“Yeah.” Addison sighed again, looked down at her shoes. Meredith followed her gaze and, once again, lingered a little too long on her toned legs. She had to get her mind out of the gutter, this was a serious conversation. 

“So you need a drink.” Meredith called Joe over and ordered Addison a tequila. The older woman raised her eyebrows. 

“You don’t mess around, do you?” 

“No,” Meredith said, meeting Addison’s gaze directly. “I don’t. And put it on my tab, Joe,” she said, waving away Addison’s attempts to pay. 

Addison looked at her so long Meredith felt blood rushing to her cheeks, then turned away. 

“You’re infuriating,” she said. 

“Because I slept with your husband?” 

Addison laughed, a laugh that felt like a prize. “Because you bought me a drink.” Her smile faded. “God, I should be mad at you. I came here, to Seattle, to be mad at you. That’s the thing I’m  _ supposed  _ to be. Or I could be mature, the bigger person,” she added, “and just forgive you. But that’s not what I want.” 

Did she feel the electricity that had been crackling between them too? Meredith reached out and put her hand on Addison’s knee. 

“What  _ do  _ you want?” she asked. 

Addison looked down at the hand, then met Meredith’s eyes. “I  _ want  _ to get more drinks with you. I  _ want  _ to get to know you better. You’re gorgeous,” she admitted, “and you bought me a drink, and… well, I don’t think being the jilted wife is really a good fit for me. I tried it.” She rested her head in her hand, and all of a sudden Meredith realized how tired she was. “I really tried it, and, you know, I didn’t like it. So let’s not be the sad wife and the sad mistress and let’s just talk.” 

So they did. It was awkward, at first, but the alcohol helped them race through the small talk and get to the good stuff. Med school. Sex. Childhoods. Fears. Sex. Secrets. Sex. 

“Why do we keep coming back to this topic?” giggled Meredith, enjoying herself so much that she forgot to be mad that Addison had cut her off after they’d each had only three drinks, citing a meeting the next morning and a desire not to have to babysit Meredith. 

Addison giggled along with her, until suddenly she didn’t anymore. She looked Meredith up and down, and Meredith could feel her gaze. 

“I think you know why,” she said, licking her lips. 

Meredith blushed, her earlier boldness forgotten when faced with the prospect of actually doing something with the older woman. “You’re  _ married,” _ she said. 

“I’m married,” Addison agreed. Meredith respected her choice not to say, “That hasn’t stopped you before.” 

“And older than me.” 

“Mm.” 

“And I don’t even like women.” 

_ “I  _ think you do, but it’s not up to me to say,” Addison conceded. 

“So this…” Meredith gestured to the two of them. “This shouldn’t happen.” 

“Agreed.” Addison smiled, but her smile was still hungry. She stood, suddenly. “I’m going to the bathroom,” she announced. 

And if Meredith had any sense, she thought, she’d sit right there on her stool and wait for her to come back. And eventually Addison would go back to New York. Maybe Derek would follow. Meredith would never have to think again about the redhead who sent heat between her legs. 

Or, if she had any sense, she’d at least invite Addison back to her place instead. 

“I have no sense,” she muttered on her way to the bathroom.

Their bodies crashed together before she could even lock the door.

**Author's Note:**

> I can be reached at wrath month#2270 on Discord, mothbutterfly on Tumblr, or Coeurire on Twitter. Thanks for reading!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Gentle](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26226862) by [bobbiejelly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbiejelly/pseuds/bobbiejelly)




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